


Morning

by Rikku



Category: Jeeves - P. G. Wodehouse
Genre: Fluff, Gen, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-05-17
Updated: 2012-05-17
Packaged: 2017-11-05 13:07:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 562
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/406692
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rikku/pseuds/Rikku
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Bertie has a nightmare. Then he eats breakfast. That's ... basically all that happens.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Morning

"Jeeves! _Jeeves_!"

"Yes, sir?"

I floundered for a second. Something about Jeeves is awfully calming, rather like a cup of tea and a nice biscuit, but for the _soul_. So already my dismayed horror was melting away as I explained, "I seem to have been killed by rubber ducks, Jeeves."

"Indeed, sir?"

"Don't you just stand there indeed-sirring me with that stuffed frog expression on your face, Jeeves! This is jolly well _serious_! What if some angel takes it into her head that the Wooster personage is prime marrying material? For starters it'd be easy to get married frightfully quick up there, practically as soon as the inclination came into her head. I imagine there's all sorts of priests hanging around plucking harps in a dispirited manner, keeping an eye out for innocent men they can marry to awful virtuous beazels."

"Sir--"

"Or what if I'm in Hell? That's even _worse_!"

"Sir! Might I suggest that you are, in fact, alive and well, and are simply suffering under the residual effects of a nightmare?"

"Oh." Unlikely, but Jeeves is awfully good at this sort of thing. The day I don't listen to Jeeves is the day I regret not listening to Jeeves! Which ... is most days. But _not today_. I rolled the idea in my head like a lozenge, considering it. I looked down at myself. It was true that my paisley pyjamas did not show many signs of having been shredded to pieces by evil plastic bills. "... Well. I must admit I'm a little embarrassed."

"Not at all, sir," Jeeves said. With any other bird I would've suspected that stuffy tone hid a chest full of sniggers, but Jeeves's face was as emotionless as always, like it had been carved out of marble that was jolly good at being emotionless. He began cleaning up the breakfast tray that I'd upset in my silly anguish, which I was now beginning to feel rather abashed about. "You weren't to know."

"Oh, tish-tosh, Jeeves," I said, mournfully burying my grief in the one slice of toast that hadn't joined the others in decorating the floor. "And anyway," I added, crumb-muffled and annoyed with myself, "worrying about being in Hell, at least, was frightfully silly of me, if this was anywhere it'd be Heaven! Which is rather odd all things considered, but if that's what the old fellow decides then I'm not going to bicker about it, I suppose."

Jeeves set the breakfast tray carefully on my newly straightened-out blankets and nudged the bud vase a little to the right, so it complemented the tea cup better. He's a _marvel_ , my man Jeeves. "May I ask what would bring you to conclude that you were celestially bound?"

"Well, because you're here," I said, through a mouthful of crumbs.

He froze. "Sir?"

I swallowed. "So it would have to be Heaven, obviously," I explained. Jeeves is frightfully brainy (it's all the fish he eats), and it wasn't normally _me_ who had to explain things to _him_. I found myself rather enjoying it. "Anywhere you were would be, actually." I smiled appreciatively down at the beautifully laid out breakfast tray. "Say! Might I have more tea?"

"Very good, sir," he said, something odd in his voice, and he shimmered out. I ate more toast and heaved a sigh of warm contentment. All was right with the world.

**Author's Note:**

> Normally I wouldn't give hell and heaven capital letters! Which is weird, because it's not like they're not proper nouns. And. Yes. Decided to bathe my shiny new account in the complete lack of oozing blood of the fluffiest ficlet I have, so here you go. Wow that's a boring title. It didn't have a title before, see.


End file.
